
DATE: Saturday, October 25, 1997            TAG: 9710250355

SECTION: FRONT                   PAGE: A1   EDITION: FINAL 

SOURCE: BY TONY WHARTON, STAFF WRITER 

                                            LENGTH:  121 lines

BISHOP TO CELEBRATE MASS FOR HOMOSEXUALS DESPITE ASSURANCES, SOME SAY, CHURCH'S ATTITUDE TOWARD GAYS STILL CAUSES ANGUISH

When Joe Amos kneels in prayer today at Cathedral of the Sacred Heart in Richmond, he will feel a measure of peace. But that comes as much from within as from the setting - Bishop Walter Sullivan's first Mass specifically for gay and lesbian Catholics in this diocese.

Despite Sullivan's effort to reach out to gays in his diocese, including Hampton Roads, and a new pastoral letter from all American bishops, Amos says the church's basic position toward him as a gay man has not changed.

``There's no change, and there's not going to be,'' said Amos, 48, of Norfolk, a leader of the local chapter of Dignity, a group for gay Catholics. ``I don't think the church is going to change its policy until we get another pope. It's the same for issues of women as priests, or allowing married priests. It's just been a stone wall, no change.''

In much of American culture, homosexuality raises fewer eyebrows than it used to. Tom Selleck kissed Kevin Kline on the lips on-screen, but audiences still made ``In & Out'' a top box office draw.

But there's more anguish over gays in the church pew than in the movie theater, and it's not just in Catholic churches. This year the debate has broken out in one mainline Protestant denomination after another.

The United Church of Christ ordains acknowledged gay men and women as ministers. That same issue divided Episcopalians this summer.

The Episcopal church has accepted gays as members of the church, but efforts to ordain them as priests and to approve same-sex unions have not yet succeeded.

No fewer than three protest groups - Episcopalians United, the Anglican American Council and the Episcopal Synod of America - have sprouted within the Episcopal church to fight those proposals. They were alarmed by the church's election of a moderate presiding bishop in July who has advocated those changes in the past.

Similarly, a conservative movement called Good News has been formed within the Methodist church to uphold what it sees as threatened traditions, and Presbyterians disagreed this year over a measure that would effectively ban the ordination of homosexuals.

Craig Wansink, coordinator of the department of religious studies at Virginia Wesleyan College in Virginia Beach, said churches are trying to make decisions about homosexuality, one of the thorniest social issues, when they've never grappled with sexuality very well to begin with.

``People are not particularly well-equipped to face issues of sexuality in general,'' Wansink said. ``Ideally, they ought to deal first with a discussion of the Bible and ethics, how they make decisions about values.''

Wansink thinks that AIDS, paradoxically, has helped gays win acceptance with many Christians. Because sincere Christians feel called to help the sick and suffering, they often found themselves unable to maintain long-held stereotypes or hate when faced personally by gay parishioners with AIDS or HIV.

``When they know people who are really beloved, and those people get AIDS, it forces them to confront the issue,'' he said. ``They think, `We never knew anyone like this before.' They have to deal with it on a personal basis, and the notion of responsibility comes back to them.''

In Norfolk, All God's Children Community Church was formed four years ago specifically to minister to gay Christians. Its pastor, the Rev. Jim Downing, said gay members of other churches sometimes get tired of waiting for change, which is slow when it comes at all.

``I personally don't think all that much has changed,'' Downing said. ``There's certainly a lot of dialogue going on within the denominations. At least the subject is coming before people.''

All God's Children, Downing said, emphasizes the idea of church as community.

``To me, the benefit of church is in small community, and learning how to love and relate with one another,'' he said. ``It has nothing to do with being gay.''

The Roman Catholic Church appears to be at the far end of the spectrum from Downing's position, but the picture is complicated.

Officially, the church teaches that practicing homosexuality is a sin, for the same reasons as adultery or unmarried heterosexual sex: It's outside the bonds of marriage.

But the church in the United States has tried to soften that view without challenging church doctrine. Its method has been using the idea of ``love the sinner, hate the sin.''

Three weeks ago, U.S. Catholic bishops released a pastoral letter, ``Always Our Children,'' urging parents of gay children not to reject them.

``God loves every person as a unique individual,'' the letter said in part. ``Sexual identity helps to define the unique person we are. God does not love someone any less simply because he or she is homosexual.''

Sullivan said Friday that today's Mass was already planned before the pastoral letter came out, but he's happy about the coincidence.

``The Mass is intended to be a positive response to the needs of gay and lesbian persons, and our concern for them and the church's ministry,'' Sullivan said. ``It also gives me an opportunity to share some reflections on that letter.''

Sullivan at times has publicly disputed the church's views. Along with some other Catholics, he signed an open letter in 1992 disagreeing with a Vatican statement about barring gays from teaching and coaching jobs.

``I think he's been very supportive, and I have always appreciated his support,'' Amos said. ``When the going got tough, he didn't bail out.''

Even now, Sullivan points out that he still upholds the church's teaching.

``There's nothing wrong with sexual orientation,'' he said. ``It's the acting out that the church says is wrong.''

Many gay Catholics are troubled by that, Amos said: ``I know some people who could not get over the fact that the church could not embrace them. It's extremely painful for them.''

But Amos said that after long wrestling with the pain, he has come to a place spiritually where he feels able to pray and live with the fact of the church's disapproval.

That's why he welcomes today's Mass in Richmond, but he would remain a gay Catholic if it were never held.

``I know where I'm at,'' Amos said. ``I am part of the body of Christ. My relationship with Jesus Christ and God is that of a child with a loving parent, and I'm not excluded.

``I've come to that feeling through a lot of introspection and prayer and thought.'' ILLUSTRATION: [Color Photo]

LOVE WITHOUT CONDITION

``There's nothing wrong with sexual orientation. It's the acting

out that the church says is wrong.''

Bishop Walter Sullivan

I know some people who could not get over the fact that the

church could not embrace them. It's extremely painful for them.''

Joe Amos